My friend, Janine started a podcast on 90s and noughties boy band culture and how it contributed to our lives as young lasses. Her first podcast was this week, go check it out – she sings there and you’ll probably agree with most of the stuff she says, like how bizarro song lyrics were or how she thought Zac and Tyler were actually girls for the longest time. Side note: My life would have taken an interesting turn at a very young age if Zac Hanson was actually a chick – because I heart him forever no matter what. So in the spirit of the original fangirl makers and heartthrobs who brought on our musical and later sexual awakening, we’re remembering the movie The Covenant today.
In the year 2006, I was a teen and watched a lot of teen rubbish like High School Musical and other awesome stuff like the Harry Potter series. These were all cute, amazing things that girls my age watched, about boys and girls our age, and we loved them. It was cool. Then one day, this movie with teen boys with nice hair and abs and cars happened. Or as one Tumblr user puts it “Sebastian Stan, Taylor Kitsch and Chace Crawford as 2000′s homoerotic, bad boy, swimmer warlocks”. As a fan of The Craft – which is kinda like The Covenant but with girls?(Not really) I lost my shit when I saw this film.
Where do I begin? Well, apart from the three counted above, who we later get to know as Bucky from Captain America (Chase), Tim Riggins from Friday Night Lights (Pogue) and Nate from Gossip Girl (Tyler), there’s Reid, who is the bigger bad boy of the group of friends and the proud owner of the famous line “Harry Potter can kiss my ass!”
And then there’s Mr Original Dark and Mysterious, Caleb who was played by STEVEN STRAIT – Edward Cullen who? No seriously, how did that guy make us think he was the good kind of dark and mysterious? He was creepy. Anyway, what ever happened to bloody Steven Strait, you guys? Like, he was literally the hottest of these dudes and now he’s just not around – like Josh Hartnett or Chad Michael Murray or something. Steven Strait was the the 2000’s answer to Jon Snow/Kit Harrington (or is it Kit Harrington is now the answer to Steven Strait?). I’d like to point out at this point (hehe) that these were very cool names and these dudes were collectively known as The Sons of Ipswich. Did any teen girl have a choice faced with so much 2000s swag?
Sebastian “I’m going to make you my Wee-yotch” Stan was actually the bad guy in this movie – he was ‘not’ a son of Ipswich; he was a cute sassy villain and he owned his part. They all did, which is probably why we still see most of them around. They made this cheesy little flick a personal witch/warlock/supernatural classic of mine and I’m forever greatful for all those six-packs. Thank you.
I thought this was a trailer but it seems somebody managed to summarise the whole movie in under 4 minutes over a cool Breaking Benjamin track (also so 2000s), so you can watch it. For real, watch it. Popular opinion: The Covenant sucks. Tell that to 17 year old Zoe. Or even 26 year old me – I love this movie!
In conclusion (regarding my whole entire life in the blogosphere):