Author Archives: Zoe

About Zoe

Zoe Ngombane. I’m a writer and music festival junkie. And I’m also a cheapwine connoisseur.

My whole adult life has been a lazy Sunday

My whole adult life has been a lazy Sunday

I was feeling a little nostalgic for the 20something melancholy that is the Thoughtcatalog, so I flipped through the proverbial internet pages for something cool to ingest and stumbled upon this article about being a total Sunday bum. First, thought, ‘Oh my word, I love lazy Sundays! What is she on about?’. Last thoughts, ‘Oh my God, my whole life is a lazy Sunday! This sucks quite a bit.’

4 Reasons Why Lazy Sundays Generate The Worst Feelings Ever by Sara Uzer

lazy sundays

That Sunday feeling – we all know it well. While you believe that you deserve the chance to lounge around in your PJ’s all day, you simultaneously feel anxious about your responsibilities come Monday morning.

Over all, Sundays are an uncomfortable mixture between contentment and dread, and you’re just not really sure what to do with yourself.

Here’s why Sundays have the tendency to bring about those less-than-desirable emotions:

1. There’s a pretty good chance that you’re hungover.

2. Somehow you’ve managed to spend the entire day on social media, and are beginning to feel like a useless human being.

3. Netflix keeps asking if you’re still watching, and you’re starting to seriously think it’s mocking you. (Not Netflix in my case, but hired DVDs and 6 seasons of Never Mind the Buzzcocks – they don’t even have to ask) 

4. You can’t decide which you hate more – the fact that you’re ‘wasting your day away’, or that you genuinely enjoy doing absolutely nothing.

You end up rationalizing that it’s okay to be lazy today, as long as you compensate by having a super productive upcoming week. Of course, there are no promises on following through with this – but telling yourself is a start.

And that’s my life. And that makes me a sad little girl. So I may have to find a ‘How to Start Over’ article soon.

Read the whole thing on Thoughtcatalog.

We went on a Roadcast to The Cradle of Humankind!

We went on a Roadcast to The Cradle of Humankind!

We didn’t go on a roadcast – that’s not a real thing you can go on – we made a podcast while on a roadtrip and called it a roadcast. Janine, Nolly, Alex and I took a trip to The Cradle of Humankind and it was quite enlightening for all of us in different ways. I guess it’s because it’s so easy for us to forget ancient, buried, not-directly-affecting-us-right-now existence because we’re always thinking in the present tense. Evolution is never on our minds, I’d even forgotten that the Dodo was recently extinct and soon that’ll be the rhino right? In any case, human beings and animals alike, we rise and fall like whatever rises and falls (I forgot that line but Odysseus says it at the end of Troy). And thats what happened with everything that came before us. That took a grim turn, which is not the intention because it was delightful to witness the Earth’s glow up. More to the point, though, we had a good ‘ol chat about the boy band Blue, how South Africans used to be really obsessed with UK pop bands and Men’s Rights (LOL).

Have a listen!

The one where I did Victoria Falls in an Overlander Truck: PART II

The one where I did Victoria Falls in an Overlander Truck: PART II

“In this life journey we meet incredible people [that] our souls connect with instinctively. Last week I travelled with some amazing beings. We shared laughs, we shared food, we shared drinks, we shared care, we shared the little we had, we shared the abundance we had, we shared of ourselves, we shared sharing. They are my teachers and my friends. God knows the love I have for them.”

– Phindi, Truckmate 🙂

My Zimbabwe Trip

I’m not sure if there is any simpler and more heartfelt and right-on way I could say this. This is literally all I feel about my journey to Zimbabwe and all the wonderful people I met and got to know and formed a weird little bond with. But let me tell you a little about the greatest overlander truck to ever exist. Let me tell you a little about the people of Truck Hercules.

Nas and Bule: If there ever were a more laid back couple than these two, I don’t know of it. Nas was the first person I actually met, and she was excellently chill and so friendly. We kept on teasing Nas about how strict she is with Bule and he just kept laughing at us. That made sense, because the endearment with which the whole thing played out between the two of them was one of the sweetest things about them.They’re both very attractive as well, so everything makes sense. And to be fair, I think Nas is strict with everyone – she made me eat my food during the last supper. ILY, both.

Lusanda: This little lady is so spirited and such a creative individual you can almost see kaleidoscope emissions coming off her, the way those smelly squiggly lines come off of cartoon characters. It is unmissable and so cool. Also, she’s gorgeous and fearless. She helped me flirt with this Swiss boy at a party on the 30th. He was really hot and I turned into a blubbering mess when I saw his biceps. Lucie was kind enough to calmly coach me. She was also one of the few crazy people who went white water rafting on the Zambezi and I will physically fight anybody who thinks that is not thee most badass thing to friggin do.

Louise and Marcel: Whymisical Louise and her awesome love, Marcel. I may have been a little obsessed with these two’s union because it is so lovely and unadulterated and just all the things. I’m okay with that though, because I was not the only one who expressed how affected I was by the two of them and their love. We’d all just look on and sigh whenever they interacted. Above all that, I had the most amazing time hanging out with these guys – they are the truest jol to hang with.

Zintle: This girl took such good care of me. It was a few days before we actually sort of hung out but once we did, I couldn’t stop hugging her because she’s so bloody pretty, like a doll, and just kindest kid in class. There are lot of random things I made this tranquil spirit do but we also sat through Dumi’s sex counselling chat together, which kinda bonds you for life. We were inseperable after that – she’s the Vic Falls Yin to my Yang.

Dumi and Phindi: I want to say our charismatic leader but that feels hitlerish. Dumi was more like a big brother/resident sex counsellor/party starter. He is a presence – like a big one. And his particular person – yes, this is what he calls her – Phindi is very outspoken and she stares right into your eyes when she speaks. At first I felt like she was staring into my soul, which made me feel hella anxious, but I remembered she’s with Dumi, which means she’s probably insane. And insane people are the best people, so I got over myself.

TK and Derek. The two lovely big boys. Anybody who knows me, knows that big boys are my fave thing (Ugh, there’s no clean way to put that statement across, sorry). One was beautifully above average tall and the other had a laugh and ass that brought tears to my eyes. They were also quite adventurous. Like we all did a few activities, but these dudes had plans like everyday to some death defying shit. Kudos. I don’t have the balls – literally. They are such cool peoples. But by far the coolest thing about them is that they were with my tent mate, Simi!

Simi: Sim-ee, Sim sim, Now you Simi – my roomie! Simi and I were the only solo ladies and that’s how we ended up in a tent together. It was the beginning of the coolest roomship. Simi, like my dad, was born on the first day of the year. Amd we all gathered around in our campsite during the last supper and watched her welcome the new year and blow out the candles on her birthday. There was champers and there were tears. It was transcendental.

The Danish kids: Lars, Camilla and Simone. Lars and I sat next to each other on the bus, so we clocked in quiet a few hours in each other’s company. What were we doing most of the time? Sleeping. It’s almost like we were competing or something. At some point it felt like it was contagious and eventually our sleep times just started synching. Lars is so polite that he would feel so bad if he fell onto my shoulder by mistake – what a sweetie. Camilla and Simone were travelling with him and they remind me of doves, the way they’re so pretty and soft spoken. Made me think the whole time, are Danish people really quiet or are South Africans just really loud?

Mas and Nthabi: The two ladies with the dreads that went down to the arches of their backs #longdreadsdontcare – I’m being biased about this because I have dreadlocks, duh. Mas takes brilliant instagram-worthy photographs and she was always the first to wake up, and Nthabi is sweet but she was the first to be visibly gatvol when we got to the 1000 metre long queue at the South African border. I dig both of them – for all those reasons –  hugely.

Tim and Tiega: First of all, they sound like a sitcom, what’s not love? Also, they’re close friends and make me think of Portland, USA twenty-somethings… How I Met Your Mother, anyone? (I know its set in NY, don’t be a smartass). I just wanna make a show out of them because they’re so damn cool and wonderful and fun to chill with, godammit!

Harley from Australia: Harley, Harley, Harley… our charming Australian friend. There is so much to say about the upbeat, lone-wolf Mr Straya, especially from an American perspective, I think? 😛 But, what happens on Truck Hercules stays on Truck Hercules. We didn’t let him forget though  – in fact we had a right lekker time with it. It was nice – he was nice.

Ofentse and Thuli: Ofentse runs and Thuli is the queen of taking pictures. Ofentse is one half of the magic duo (the other half being Dumi) who prepared the last supper for us, the biggest gesture of our bond as Team Herc. And I don’t think there’s anybody on the truck who didn’t get a chance to be involved in an impromptu Thuli photoshoot with all her professional Kardashian poses. I think I took like 20 pictures of her at one spot at the Victoria Falls National Park – and it was my pleasure because she is a delight to be around.

Pete and her sister: Pete’s sister was quiet and honestly even when everybody was complaining about the heat or the queues, she also complained but with a smile. How? What a lovely lady. Pete was our resident photographer – she had like a real camera, not just a phone. And she was also more obsessed with mosquito spray than the rest of us. Great gals.

The older dudes: The suppliers of sage advice and unlimited red bulls. These guys were obviously more travelled than us, especially in Africa and they always had something really helpful or really funny to say about the places we were visiting. And I’m not mad about the cold water and energy drinks that they offered us during those smoulderingly hot days either. Hearts.

And last but not least, our drivers and uncles for all intensive purposes, Amious and Munya, four words. THEY. ARE. THE. BEST. I have been truly lucky to have met all of these funions and I appreciate that they exist and that they are all awesome. I love you, guys and thanks for the memories… *sniff sniff*

Overlander Truck Hercules Zimbabwe

Photo cred: Pete 🙂

The one where I did Victoria Falls in an Overlander Truck: PART I

The one where I did Victoria Falls in an Overlander Truck: PART I

I spent the last four days of 2015 and the first three days of 2016* seeing, Botswana, Zimbabwe and a little bit of Zambia. Of course I’d love this to be a super normal and straightforward post about the sites and sounds of this bizarre trip but it isn’t the sites and sounds that made this trip what it was for me. It was the people, and if you called me cheesy just then, I wish adult chicken pox on you, because this is very serious and I’m in my feels right now, k?

But let me indulge you.

This may take long and may even be strange for some people to read but I think, by now, you folks bother with this blog because you enjoy my strange stories. The overlander truck carried 25 other people who were complete strangers to me and most, to each other. But you spend 7 days eating, drinking, partying and sleeping with 25 other people in the bush (don’t be dirty) and all the rules and lines of everyday living and social codes are blurred (again don’t be dirty).

On Monday, we set off on a 650km drive from Benoni to Palapye, Botswana. Funny story; I was running late because Nkee and Sibo made me drink, the Sunday. Luckily, there was somebody who was way later than I was. If I’d missed this trip, I would have hung myself on a loose clothesline with some wet toilet paper.

I found Botswana okay enough. I think this is because I find ocean-less countries kind of underwhelming. Like, where’s your beach, bruh? Sun’s out, guns out? No? Mmkay. Also, we were so exhausted from the journey that even if there was pretty shit around, I wouldn’t have cared. We all just got off the truck, pitched our tents (not really, I got ahold of the demonstration tent like a boss) and headed to the bar, where we got treated to some nicely highly priced beverages. The Rand is not having a good time.

bad time

We woke up bright and early the following morning after a quick brekkie and started the 850km drive to Victoria Falls Town, Zimbabwe. Needless to say, it was hot and draining but everybody was a good sport about it, especially because we got to see a few elephants every now and again.


We already had big plans for when we arrived in Vic Falls – we were going on a party train. Yeah, I know – we actually hopped on a train with a bar area and a dance floor in it and guess what happened next? It took us to another party where things got nice and messy. You wish you were there, bru, no doubt. I have no clear recollection of the party train ride home, I remember a winding railroad, lights and laughter and giddiness.

Breakfast was at around 10. The weird thing about festivals is that you can sleep really late and wake up at a normal time and not feel as crappy as you would at home. In the day that followed we visited, of course, the great Victoria Falls themselves and it was majestic. I usually only use the word majestic to describe a horse’s mane or godly arms on a dude, but man… this is where that word belongs. As we walked through the rainforest, snapping pictures and marveling at our surroundings, I thought to myself, this is so touristy but this is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. It was low season in December but there was still so much water and spray, I vowed to come back during high season one day. I literally felt like the water, falling heavily as I walked those paths, was cleansing me – no joke, and I felt the most elated I’d been in a long time.


After taking all of that natural beauty in, we walked over the border to Zambia to lunch there. It pains me to say, I underestimated the sun and the walk and how much tourists get hustled for money. And mostly, during the whole trip, I underestimated just how much the Dollar was currently tearing the Rand a new one – all that RAND>DOLLAR>KWACHA exchanging had gotten me famished. It took us a bit of a walk around to find a nice air conditioned restaurant in Livingstone but we were very happy when we did. The walk back wasn’t as bad and we got home just in time to get ready and go party hopping all around Vic Falls Town. There were many parties, there was a Swiss boy and he was beautiful. It was mint.

It was so mint that we spent the following day vegging next to the pool, with our overpriced slushies and ciders. For the whole day. And played a game where I ended having to jump into the pool with all my clothes on. Eventually everybody jumped in too but I was bummed because I hate the game we were playing. Card games… ugh. At night we got onto one of the many shuttles transporting all the campers to the venue where the big finale concert was taking place. There was no alcohol allowed inside so we had to down our drinks at the gate. Or did we? Well, let’s just say, there was a part of the wall that the security personnel were neglecting and I was rolling with a bunch of badasses, and I’ll end it there. There is never really much to say about New Year’s parties because we’re all too busy getting into the fun of it all – and boy did I get into the fun of it all.

I think all of that fun and all that happiness surging though my skin helped me not to kill myself on the drive back to Botswana and further back home to South Africa. The border was dreadful and our truck had turned into a sauna, everybody was gatvol and nobody was chattering anymore – we had all become zombies. It wasn’t until we saw the network bars on our phones come alive and the last border behind us that our humanness was restored. And we arrived in Benoni, so happy to be back in SA but equally so happy we had gone to Zim and travelled with the world’s most amazing group of people and seen one of the world’s most amazing sites. And also Bots 😉


*(this has been backdated for continuity and such, kthanksbye)

Yes, I’m here to watch the rugby, dude…

Yes, I’m here to watch the rugby, dude…

Where to even begin with this one, you guys? Let’s do personal micro aggression origin stories shall we? Have you ever made your way over to a pub as a lady person, alone or in a group, and had a male person, maybe more than one, come up to you and interrogate you about your life? Asking you questions like, ‘Are you waiting for your boyfriend?’ or ‘Are you really here to watch the game?’… Those are the more indirect ones. I’ve gotten ‘Do you know what a ruck is?’ and ‘Can you name any other player besides Habana?’. I wish this was a joke.


how dare you

All the feels, yo. It’s one thing to wonder why I have a draught in front of me and why I’m yelling at the screen and getting super distraught and super excited, or even why I’m wearing these Vintage 1980s Bok earrings. But it’s a whole other thing to walk over to me and fix your mouth to ask me nonsense you wouldn’t ask a bro doing the same thing.

Wow, man… 

go away


Sometimes I really think I’m being punished for my own prejudices, tbh. There was a point in my life where I was kinda problematic and it was very unfair. When I was suspicious or felt put off by dudes who weren’t into Sports, or dudes who preferred sports like tennis or driving, or whatevs (I’m a contact sports girl, myself). Like, wtf was that? But you know what I did? I checked myself and stopped myself from feeding into the linear assignment of gender roles. Ugh, I’m being preachy now but this a seriously annoying issue. It’s annoying that my mind has to be a bloody glossary because every time I hit the bar I’m going to get quizzed. Just stop. And you know what – if you’d really like to know – yes, I am quite pleased that rugby and football guys look the way they do. And I’m sooo sorry they don’t have boobs so that you can stay happy forever. And my sporting faves are as skilled as they are gorgeous and I love them for those two reasons equally. The two aren’t exclusive.

As I bid you adieu, I’ll admit that I’d sooner hangout with a boy who says ‘It’s cool that you’re into sports’. I feel he’s more of a human than Mr ‘You know what an offside is?’. FACEPALM. REALLY.  It’s like, so I go ahead and play a moron and give you the answers you seek, then what? You’re super impressed with me? You no longer feel the need to intimidate me because I’m now at least half worthy to dwell in your masculine space for a bit? Please just remove yourself from my space, bruh, and don’t tell me it’s not that deep.


P.S Here’s a picture of De Allende, because I can!

damian de allende




Backstreet Boys and #GrowingUpAFangirl

Backstreet Boys and #GrowingUpAFangirl
Backstreet Boys and #GrowingUpAFangirl

In the spirit of last month’s post about The Covenant and other yummy things that ruined our expectations of dudes when we grew up, I am posting Janine and I’s podcast chat about the greatest and best boy band to EVER EXIST; The Backstreet Boys. Don’t worry, kids, I’m not going to become a fangirl blog. Although, personal semi-reviews do kinda fall under the fanship category, but alas.

So on a beautiful sunny spring Saturday in Midrand, South Africa, Janine and I sat down to discuss BSB, their awesome staying power and the song that was at the forefront of my pubescent sexual awakening – ‘Shape of My Heart’. Because, at 12, I was a slag for blonde boys with colourful eyes, that is, 90s Leo Dicaprio, David Lee Gallagher and of course, Nick Carter. There is laughter, there are tears, we put together a boy band dream team, but mostly there’s laughter. At some point we discuss the rise and flourish of the abominable f*ckboi. Well, to be honest, I’m not really obsessed with that term but thanks to Janine and discoveries hidden deep within the podcast, I now refer to our charming serpent brethren as Max Martin bros, because they so believe and subscribe to the ‘The Call <–> When you’re looking like that’ school of thought.

So if you are even slightly part of the #growingupafangirl movement:




OR if you’ve always wondered what caused tween and teen girls to go into such a frenzy about these dude singing groups, or you just wanna find out what the hell a Max Martin bro is, and especially if you just wanna share in our 2000s nostalgia, follow me down this yellow brick road, kids. FYI: I dearly love to laugh, so I pretty much giggle throughout this thing. Be cool.

Tune into the MMMBopcast. 

Throwback Thursday: Does anybody remember The Covenant?

Throwback Thursday: Does anybody remember The Covenant?

My friend, Janine started a podcast on 90s and noughties boy band culture and how it contributed to our lives as young lasses. Her first podcast was this week, go check it out – she sings there and you’ll probably agree with most of the stuff she says, like how bizarro song lyrics were or how she thought Zac and Tyler were actually girls for the longest time. Side note: My life would have taken an interesting turn at a very young age if Zac Hanson was actually a chick – because I heart him forever no matter what. So in the spirit of the original fangirl makers and heartthrobs who brought on our musical and later sexual awakening, we’re remembering the movie The Covenant today.

In the year 2006, I was a teen and watched a lot of teen rubbish like High School Musical and other awesome stuff like the Harry Potter series. These were all cute, amazing things that girls my age watched, about boys and girls our age, and we loved them. It was cool. Then one day, this movie with teen boys with nice hair and abs and cars happened. Or as one Tumblr user puts it “Sebastian Stan, Taylor Kitsch and Chace Crawford as 2000′s homoerotic, bad boy, swimmer warlocks”. As a fan of The Craft – which is kinda like The Covenant but with girls?(Not really) I lost my shit when I saw this film.

Where do I begin? Well, apart from the three counted above, who we later get to know as Bucky from Captain America (Chase), Tim Riggins from Friday Night Lights (Pogue) and Nate from Gossip Girl (Tyler), there’s Reid, who is the bigger bad boy of the group of friends and the proud owner of the famous line “Harry Potter can kiss my ass!”


And then there’s Mr Original Dark and Mysterious, Caleb who was played by STEVEN STRAIT – Edward Cullen who? No seriously, how did that guy make us think he was the good kind of dark and mysterious? He was creepy. Anyway, what ever happened to bloody Steven Strait, you guys? Like, he was literally the hottest of these dudes and now he’s just not around – like Josh Hartnett or Chad Michael Murray or something. Steven Strait was the the 2000’s answer to Jon Snow/Kit Harrington (or is it Kit Harrington is now the answer to Steven Strait?). I’d like to point out at this point (hehe) that these were very cool names and these dudes were collectively known as The Sons of Ipswich. Did any teen girl have a choice faced with so much 2000s swag?


Sebastian “I’m going to make you my Wee-yotch” Stan was actually the bad guy in this movie – he was ‘not’ a son of Ipswich; he was a cute sassy villain and he owned his part. They all did, which is probably why we still see most of them around. They made this cheesy little flick a personal witch/warlock/supernatural classic of mine and I’m forever greatful for all those six-packs. Thank you.

I thought this was a trailer but it seems somebody managed to summarise the whole movie in under 4 minutes over a cool Breaking Benjamin track (also so 2000s), so you can watch it. For real, watch it. Popular opinion: The Covenant sucks. Tell that to 17 year old Zoe. Or even 26 year old me – I love this movie!

In conclusion (regarding my whole entire life in the blogosphere): 

Screen Shot 2015-08-19 at 10.01.40 AM


Featured: The Gourmet Millennial

Featured: The Gourmet Millennial

By Lev Novak via Thought Catalog


Source: Thought Catalog, LeeC3

Snobbery in food and drink is all we can afford. It’s the symbol of the life we took for granted from participation trophies (which, by the way, we never asked for: don’t put that excess on us.) We can’t afford stocks or a mortgage, but we cling to our hopes. So we consume them instead. So we have artisan coffee and fancy three-buck sodas and gluten free cupcakes and truffle fries. And they rock. I love them.

But they’re all I can afford to love.

I read this article a few days ago when it came out and I read it again today and it’s definitely something that I feel is kinda true about people of my age in general. I could be wrong, of course, and it could be that I’m just hanging around a lot of consumerism junkies who are mildly obsessed with the #lifestyle. And that the world beyond my friendship and social circles really despises our lovely locally-brewed craft beer and gourmet fudge and gourmet sarmies. And that we’re weird freaks. But no – not really anyway. My friends are super flourishing for their ages but it is true that we don’t have all the concrete ‘got life figured out’ things the old folks had and our timelines are not as not as defined and urgent as the generations before us. And as a result, YES, we take comfort in our Instagram meals and lives because, for now, that works. It’s all we can afford to fuel our indulgence for now. In Lev’s words, ‘…they’re all I can afford to love’.

Give the full article a read over here.


Live-tweeting my Game of Thrones Trauma

Live-tweeting my Game of Thrones Trauma

Brace yourselves, it took me some days to be kind of okay with things (not really).

June, 18 2015 – At first it was just A LOT of shock and disbelief.





June, 19 2015 – Then I was just flat out broken.



June 20, 2015 – Then I decided to put the hurt of Jon Snow behind me and enjoy the memes. GoT7


But for real, in the end…


I think I have a Type

I think I have a Type

I think I may really have a type, well at least as far as movie characters go. I mean, I’ll watch a film, a film of a specific genre, and I’ll be drawn to this certain dude. I’m sure you’re thinking, ‘Yeah well sure, that happens to all women’. You’re not wrong but I think that’s more of a lust thing. I mean, I have characters I totally lust over like way after the movie has ended and I build a little creepy hut for those dudes in my vault where they can share a communal bathroom in one dark part of the house and wait to be summoned for duty one by one. Those are action movie men, emotional romantic drama men, sports movie men, that kinda sweaty macho muscly rubbish – hunks so to say (listen, the 90s said it best). The type that I speak of is different. After the movie I don’t lead them blindfolded and covered in baby oil into my Amazon hut. One word comes to mind, and that word is ‘boyfriend’. I just wanna cuddle them and talk to them and serial watch a TV series in my PJs with them while we binge drink on a Friday night, and go to music festivals and sports games with them.

I’m not sure these guys have a super specific physical attribute, except that they’re all tall I guess, some of ’em have borderline daddy bodies and the rest have regular dude bodies. I can’t word what I’m imagining but you catch my drift right? Wow, the 90s have really taken over my writing today. But in more related news, these guys all have one thing in common; they are all comical and make me smile. And right off the top of my head, these are some of the blokes that make me feel warm and fuzzy inside when I’m watching *insert sub-genre* comedies:

Friends With Kids – Chris O’Dowd. 

Source: Fanpop

Source: Fanpop

I think that face says it all. And he’s the most relatable and laid back character in that movie which makes him really attractive to me.

The Romantics – Adam Brody

Something Borrowed – John Krasinski. 

Source: Imgfave

Source: Imgfave

Quirky best friend? Um, ja! And he’s married to Emily Blunt, irl and that’s the biggest stamp of approval if you ask me. 

No Strings attached – Ashton Kutcher.

I know he’s the lead but so are Jake Gyllenhaal and Justin Timberlake in their casual sexy time movies and I feel zero for them.

Five Year engagement – Chris Pratt


Source: Imgur

Actually where is Chris Pratt not adorable? Where? Show me! Have you seen how ripped he has become? How can I not appreciate a man who can transform like that? 

That Awkward Moment – Miles Teller

Source: Buzzfeed

Source: Buzzfeed

Miles, oh Miles… You are so chucklesome. Most age appropriate of the bunch and probably most bangable. Marry me, Mr Potato Face. 

Delivery Man – Amos VanderPoel.

I mean he doesn’t even speak in the damn movie! This is a real problem. Also, Chris Pratt again.

I love you, Man – Jason Segal


Jason Segal in ‘I love you, Man’ was definitely the one to pop my moron-loving cherry and you never forget your first. 

Yup. It’s a weird one but I am into tall goofy/funny/somewhat good looking/but mostly tall & goofy guys with nice hair in movies where they’re tall and goofy.

P.S Where are all the carefree black guys on mainstream media? 🙁  Like, where are the brown wacky cuties? (No, it’s a for real question, I don’t know where to find idiotic POC dudes).

P.P.S My real thoughts on the subject? Well, my friend, Nhlanhla Holmes Mthiyane said the other day, “I don’t think you’re gonna end up with any of the bros you’re currently into. I think you’re gonna end up with a dude. A funny, sports loving dude.”

And there’s this quote,
“I believe our celebrity crushes reveal more about us than we would like to admit.”
And maybe it’s true. For now, my real life crushes are mostly emotionally unavailable remnants of my varsity life with super stable jobs and no senses of humour. It’s sad but I’ve made such a a habit of falling for and fraternising with these types that I’ve convinced myself I’m doomed to a life of being the spouse to Mr Business Trips and will, therefore, have daddy issue kids. But, if that saying is true, and my friend Nhla really believes it is – then I really have an awesome and chill love life to look forward to. Thanks Holmes.