Category Archives: Random Writer Thoughts

Turning 28 in Thailand

Turning 28 in Thailand

This year I spent my birthday 9000 kilometres away from home, in a tropical paradise with the amazing new mates I made. If you had told me last year at this time that this would be my reality I would have said duh, I’m planning for the trip over right now, you nincompoop. But if you had told me that this would be one of the happiest and most memorable moments and statements I would make in 2017, I wouldn’t have been sure.

Birthdays have always been an odd obsession of mine and I’d explain why this is so if the origin story wasn’t so dark. Essentially I rate people should be very grateful to be alive and to have been birthed (if this is what they wish of course). And every year, I come together with the people I hold dear to me – my female friends – and spend the day that I came out of my mom, jaundiced and cute as all hell. This year I asked my mother what time I was born, I figured she’d told me before and I’d just forgotten. She also doesn’t remember because how was she supposed to keep track of the time while enduring labour pains? Her words. But it was apparently any time between eight and ten, and I’ll take that. This explains my preference for sunsets over a sunrise. I’m a night queen (GoT wink).

My good friend Wendy invited me over to Phuket – to a less populated beach on Nai Harn and it was like something out of an actual dream. We started the day off at We Café for lunch where all of the produce is fresh and in-house. The rest of the day was spent on a beautiful blue water beach with cold beers in our hands and the sun gently embracing us, the water was cool enough and the beach was empty enough and my stomach and heart were full enough. In the afternoon we drove our scooter up a beautiful winding road, hugged by palm trees and other greenery on both sides, to the viewpoint overlooking the rest of Nai Harn and some islets off the gulf – I can still feel the breeze from up there right now.

Christina came in from our town in the evening and we sat down for a quiet al fresco meal at a Mexican style restaurant on the side of a busy road before heading to Patong for a more rowdy end to the night. We sang and danced and drank the night away – Grey Goose and Rihanna spurring us on – and returned to the hotel at the 3 in the morning. A fitting end to a wonderful birthday weekend. It sure felt really good to turn twenty eight.

What TV Shows Teach Us About Female Friendship

What TV Shows Teach Us About Female Friendship

“What’s significant about Broad City and Girls is the way they center friendship among the twentysomething set (now the largest living generation in the country), when so much else during that age is transient: jobs, identities, apartments, paramours. As the hype over these shows has ebbed, their most recent seasons have doubled down on this premise. They make a case for the primacy of friendship above all else, even when — especially when — it’s under threat.”

– Tomi Obaro, BuzzFeed News Reporter

I place a lot of value on my female friendships. At some points in my life – most points – it has even felt like my friends are more important and vital for my survival than family itself. That might be a taboo thing to say but I’m a millennial, whattaya gonna do? I think I only became vocal about the necessity of wholesome, healthy and fun female friendships in my mid twenties. I’ve always felt a harsher sting when leaving friends, fighting with friends,or any negative intrusions to my friendships than I have with any other relations. I’ve also felt a stronger intensity at my happiest points shared with friends, feeling content with friends, and exploring and adventuring the world and myself with friends (don’t do it). So yes, I’m sure you can tell that I’m a BFF kinda gal – and I have many and love and cherish all of my girl mates.

There have been many a girl cast/female friendship TV show and I’ve enjoyed all the classics like Sex and The City and Girlfriends, but… those shows weren’t really made for me. Not only was I quite young when I watched them, those women were career ladies in their 30s and the only thing they didn’t have figured out is love. So even with a re-watch later in my life, that premise was and still is foreign to me because I have absolutely nothing figured out. So, maybe a stretch for now and I’ll try them again in my thirties but enter Girls and Broad City and 2 Broke Girls and New Girl and Zoe is finally a happy girl. All of these shows are cool in different ways and I do like to sit in on a Friday with some wine and chuckle at all of these young women’s’ adventures, but Girls and Broad City have been more personal for me because of their focus on female friendships. And guess what? I bumped into an article that perfectly conveyed all those feelings for me 🙂 So without further ado, please read this amazing essay by What “Girls” And “Broad City” Teach Us About Female Friendship

Image: Red Bubble

“With the rise of #squads, complex relationships between twentysomething women are finally having a pop-culture moment.”

Lee Min Ho is me as an actor

Lee Min Ho is me as an actor
Lee Min Ho is me as an actor

Lee Min Ho is an actor from the hit Korean drama ‘Boys Over Flowers’ – my first and best kdrama. Now this isn’t a post about my love for kdramas or Korean pop culture in general, but about Min Ho and his wish for a slothful professional existence.

Have you ever seen just how blissful and happy and content Lee Min Ho in his lazy scene outtakes? It’s inspiring. It’s so inspiring that if I were to be an actress in my next life, I would only take jobs that make me feel the way Min Ho feels about his lazy scenes.

I am Lee Min Ho and Lee Min Ho is me. “Almost paaaaradiiiise!”

This year’s birthday came in the form of a Pub Crawl in Johannesburg

This year’s birthday came in the form of a Pub Crawl in Johannesburg

As a person who takes birthdays fairly seriously, because you’re alive another year goddamit, I’ve made sure my special days are always that; very bloody special. But even for  the name day enthusiast, 27 is a lot of years, and 7 years of cool/awesome/significant birthday themes/places is a hell of a lot. When I was thinking about what terribly amazing thing my friends and I would be doing this year, I was honestly stumped. It had to be something really fun but not too rowdy, because we’re adults okay. We had done the comedy club, the beer and wine tasting, the theme park, the expo and the night club (eek), concerts and fests. So what could we do, that we haven’t done that was hip and fun but wouldn’t give us extreme social anxiety? Pub Crawl!

It came to me in a dream. No, it did’t. I was surfing the internets randomly for chilled stuff to do during the weekend in Johannesburg and stumbled upon one of those ‘100 things to do in Jozi’ lists. I was already bored because I’d done some of that stuff and most of it was shite I would never do. Like, the zoo? Respect me and respect animals. And then, like a gorgeous message from the god of alcohol, the Curiocity Backpackers Pub Crawl popped up and I was sold. Because, well… it’s me we’re talking about here. Seven historic pubs, bars and taverns in the city centre for a few randelas with some good friends sounded like the best way to enter my late twenties. So we did it. On my birthday, which was on a Friday because I’m fabulous, we all knocked off of our jobs and headed to Lisa’s – because sleepovers mos – and then off to start the night. Seeing that side of Johannesburg was as exciting as it was scary. The first few bars and pubs were your usual hipster establishments but the last few were actual taverns and I feared for my life a little under the adrenaline rush. It was a great night with my favourite ladies and I was smiling and laughing and happy the whole time. And birthdays should be like that.

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5 Men of Colour I’m currently obsessed with

5 Men of Colour I’m currently obsessed with

The 2015/2016 season has been very good to me as far as gorgeous dudes are concerned. I’m currently really into these five guys from all over the globe and its so much better to me that they’re all amazing and talented men of colour. This means I don’t have to have mad crushes on blonde-haired blue-eyed okes (only) anymore. At long last! I am honestly so greatful for representation on television and film, guys. Because, really, if Jesse Williams existed in the 90s the way he does now, I don’t think I would have even looked at David Lee Gallagher.

Listen, I know I’m always spouting rubbish about good looking humans and binge eating and other acts of binging like watching stuff and going out, sprinkled with some nostalgia pieces. But it’s been quite difficult thirst curating guys I genuinely like, because they’re all white, because I didn’t grow up seeing black or brown guys I genuinely liked on T.V. It was always the same guy – right into my teens I never felt a true emotional, I-want-to-kiss-the-screen crush on a dude of colour. And that’s mostly because the black guys in movies were just, I mean, I just was not into that one trope Hollywood and pop culture seemed to be obsessed with and obsessed with fitting black actors into. And the same goes for women of course, because racial and cultural representation in the abroad shows and films we watched was pretty much non-existent and/or bloody linear. I’m lucky I grew up in South Africa because I’ve been seeing people who look like me on television since I can remember and that’s awesome for a young black girl. But celebrity culture was/is not a real thing in S.A and I don’t think crushing on ‘hot SA men’ happened before like 2010. So it was Brits and ‘Mericans galore for me, and I’m not sure how that affects a young black girl.

Finally, though, the last few years have seen a rise in a bunch of really gifted (physically, mentally and otherwise) of, not only black guys, but non-black people of colour as well. Michael BAE Jordan may be thot-y at face value but he is a really impressive specimen and a very good actor. Jidenna convinced me that I should only lust over guys who rap in suits, and coupled with Blake Griffin, made me believe in the power of black gingers. Let’s not even start with Rami Malek. And Chadwick Boseman as the black panther is literally the only reason I would watch that Captain America movie repeatedly – it’s ridiculous what he does he does with his body and that character. It’s been a good half decade. Out of all these undeniably aws humans, there are five that I just #cannot with.

Dev Patel

dev patel - men of colourdev patel - men of colour2

Slumdog Millionaire Dev was cute, The Last Airbender made me pay a little more attention and then the beard happened and I died. I really liked him in The Newsroom and I only just started started watching Skins. It seems like Dev has always been a dorky kind of adorable (I’m unfazed by that kind of attractiveness) with really good taste in movie/tv roles. And now he looks old/manly/rugged enough for me to have a crush on him. The moment of Impact: The beard/Lion (movie). He’s also goofy, which is a huge plus.

Rain [Jung Ji Hoon]

rain - men of colourrain - men of colour

If you haven’t seen Rain in Ninja Assassin then you won’t understand what the hell I’m talking about. I saw the movie in cinema 3 times – I kept dragging a different friend to go and see it with me. Apart from the badass fight scenes and overall perfection as far as violent action movies go, and Naomi Harris being a fave throughout, Rain was a very big part of why I loved that film so much. Afterwards I wanted to see more of him, I was like, ‘What other movie is he in?! Gahd!’. FYI, he’s also a hip-swaying pop superstar.

Alfred Enoch

alfred enoch - men of colouralfred enoch - men of colour2

Alfie, Alfie, Alfie… How to Get Away with being gorgeous and black and British, amiright? We all knew Alfie as Dean in the Harry Potter movies and I was totes rooting for him and Ginny – honestly, I just wanted to be Ginny so I can make out with him in a dark corner at The Three Broomsticks. Of course, I have mixed emotions about his character Wes in HTGAWM but that first scene with him happily riding a bike through the campus made me not care for anything that followed, because dimples. I’ve seen clips of him in Shakespeare plays like Kind Lear & Coriolanus as well, so he’s that talented, so I never stood a chance, really.

Suraj Sharma

suraj sharma - men of colour2suraj sharma - men of colour

The life of Pi star is a weird guilty pleasure of mine because I’ve literally only seen him in that one movie. I had to seek out interviews of him to see more and he literally has a smile that could kill a human. He’s super chill and so gifted, obviously. Can’t help but love this young man – and his mouth (sorry).

Daveed Diggs

menofcolour-daveed-esquireDaveed - men of colour

He’s currently making a huge splash in America’s new broadway obsession, the rap musical, Hamilton. I have never seen this show and probably never will but I’ve listened to the cast album a million times, especially the tracks with Lafayette and Jefferson. I recently listened to a podcast where he was a guest and I watched that interview he did with Katie Couric – and I couldn’t breathe or stop blushing (witchcraft). Daveed is actually a rapper, which is something I don’t usually find striking, but his style of rap and how much heart he puts into it is majorly admirable. How can one man be so amazing in every way?! Can you tell that I’m obsessed?

Guys… Daveed Diggs, hey…

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As fate would have it, @Li_Zwane posted a thread of good looking proudly South African men, You can have a look if you wanna. There are 2 or 3 ‘joke’ ones in the mix as well, though.

*all images sourced from Google.


The Big Writing Adventure

The Big Writing Adventure

whiners writers photo

In the past, the voices of black writers, especially black female writers, in South Africa have been quite few and far between. And honestly, even the books that I did read about a decade or so ago would not really strike a chord with me. Granted the household names of Ndumiso Ngcobo and Zakes Mda, etc. have provided entertaining and humorous reads and although they are also black people, theirs is not my story nor my life experience. I’m not a dude and I’m not like middle-aged or whatever (I don’t really know how old those okes are). So in the search for my artistic voice and a place in South Africa’s young writing world – well, young black writing world – I needed to at least find a kindred spirit or connect with some texts. I remember being very moved/affected by Bessie Head’s Maru in my teens and that was definitely the first female writer of colour I felt connected to. I was glad to know that this was a thing that could happen. A year or two later, I read Kopano Matlwa’s Coconut, although not my favourite writing style, I appreciated that there were some parallels and similar occurrences I could nod along to while reading the book. There was room for young women who grew up post-apartheid and had a different set of experiences and struggles in modern South Africa. And that’s the short of how I started considering myself a writer. I had a story and I wanted to tell that story.

Fast forward to a couple of years later, on a partly sunny day in April, Janine, Saneze and I sat at a cosy corner at Moo Moo’s to start The W(h)iner’s Circle. We have a lot of wine and we don’t actually whine, we discuss. Apart from my days on Perdeby (my uni’s campus paper) and a novel I wrote with Juliet, I have never actively tried to be involved in anything to even remotely acquaint myself with people who shared my literary interests until these two gems came along, and the obvious mental readiness I needed for that. It’s not in my nature to be on board with things that require effort but my admiration and belief in San and Jan made me jump at the opportunity. It was such a privilege and honour to me that I was even invited to essentially be a founding member of something we are all committed to and want to cultivate and grow. This is where we come to create and commiserate, where we come to produce content and bear witness to each others produced content. This is the place where we get our artistic juices refilled and voices heard and amplify the voices that are seldom heard. We read together, write together, consume all forms of art together and inspire each other. And are, of course, on a steady ongoing quest to find like-minded people to join us on this new adventure. This is something that I needed and am so proud to be a part of. I’m truly looking forward to the whole experience. Can you tell I’m pumped about this?!

You can follow Janine’s unfiltered commentary on everyday life, San’s random and loaded musings and my ridiculous tv and sports obsessed ramblings on Twitter: @komkuierdashian, @notpottedplant & @zoethewriter_sa

Janine also has a podcast and a Tumblr: The MMMBopcast and Kom Kuierdashian-Wys

Don’t be afraid to give us a shout if you find yourself drawn to the cause 🙂

My whole adult life has been a lazy Sunday

My whole adult life has been a lazy Sunday

I was feeling a little nostalgic for the 20something melancholy that is the Thoughtcatalog, so I flipped through the proverbial internet pages for something cool to ingest and stumbled upon this article about being a total Sunday bum. First, thought, ‘Oh my word, I love lazy Sundays! What is she on about?’. Last thoughts, ‘Oh my God, my whole life is a lazy Sunday! This sucks quite a bit.’

4 Reasons Why Lazy Sundays Generate The Worst Feelings Ever by Sara Uzer

lazy sundays

That Sunday feeling – we all know it well. While you believe that you deserve the chance to lounge around in your PJ’s all day, you simultaneously feel anxious about your responsibilities come Monday morning.

Over all, Sundays are an uncomfortable mixture between contentment and dread, and you’re just not really sure what to do with yourself.

Here’s why Sundays have the tendency to bring about those less-than-desirable emotions:

1. There’s a pretty good chance that you’re hungover.

2. Somehow you’ve managed to spend the entire day on social media, and are beginning to feel like a useless human being.

3. Netflix keeps asking if you’re still watching, and you’re starting to seriously think it’s mocking you. (Not Netflix in my case, but hired DVDs and 6 seasons of Never Mind the Buzzcocks – they don’t even have to ask) 

4. You can’t decide which you hate more – the fact that you’re ‘wasting your day away’, or that you genuinely enjoy doing absolutely nothing.

You end up rationalizing that it’s okay to be lazy today, as long as you compensate by having a super productive upcoming week. Of course, there are no promises on following through with this – but telling yourself is a start.

And that’s my life. And that makes me a sad little girl. So I may have to find a ‘How to Start Over’ article soon.

Read the whole thing on Thoughtcatalog.

We went on a Roadcast to The Cradle of Humankind!

We went on a Roadcast to The Cradle of Humankind!

We didn’t go on a roadcast – that’s not a real thing you can go on – we made a podcast while on a roadtrip and called it a roadcast. Janine, Nolly, Alex and I took a trip to The Cradle of Humankind and it was quite enlightening for all of us in different ways. I guess it’s because it’s so easy for us to forget ancient, buried, not-directly-affecting-us-right-now existence because we’re always thinking in the present tense. Evolution is never on our minds, I’d even forgotten that the Dodo was recently extinct and soon that’ll be the rhino right? In any case, human beings and animals alike, we rise and fall like whatever rises and falls (I forgot that line but Odysseus says it at the end of Troy). And thats what happened with everything that came before us. That took a grim turn, which is not the intention because it was delightful to witness the Earth’s glow up. More to the point, though, we had a good ‘ol chat about the boy band Blue, how South Africans used to be really obsessed with UK pop bands and Men’s Rights (LOL).

Have a listen!

The one where I did Victoria Falls in an Overlander Truck: PART II

The one where I did Victoria Falls in an Overlander Truck: PART II

“In this life journey we meet incredible people [that] our souls connect with instinctively. Last week I travelled with some amazing beings. We shared laughs, we shared food, we shared drinks, we shared care, we shared the little we had, we shared the abundance we had, we shared of ourselves, we shared sharing. They are my teachers and my friends. God knows the love I have for them.”

– Phindi, Truckmate 🙂

My Zimbabwe Trip

I’m not sure if there is any simpler and more heartfelt and right-on way I could say this. This is literally all I feel about my journey to Zimbabwe and all the wonderful people I met and got to know and formed a weird little bond with. But let me tell you a little about the greatest overlander truck to ever exist. Let me tell you a little about the people of Truck Hercules.

Nas and Bule: If there ever were a more laid back couple than these two, I don’t know of it. Nas was the first person I actually met, and she was excellently chill and so friendly. We kept on teasing Nas about how strict she is with Bule and he just kept laughing at us. That made sense, because the endearment with which the whole thing played out between the two of them was one of the sweetest things about them.They’re both very attractive as well, so everything makes sense. And to be fair, I think Nas is strict with everyone – she made me eat my food during the last supper. ILY, both.

Lusanda: This little lady is so spirited and such a creative individual you can almost see kaleidoscope emissions coming off her, the way those smelly squiggly lines come off of cartoon characters. It is unmissable and so cool. Also, she’s gorgeous and fearless. She helped me flirt with this Swiss boy at a party on the 30th. He was really hot and I turned into a blubbering mess when I saw his biceps. Lucie was kind enough to calmly coach me. She was also one of the few crazy people who went white water rafting on the Zambezi and I will physically fight anybody who thinks that is not thee most badass thing to friggin do.

Louise and Marcel: Whymisical Louise and her awesome love, Marcel. I may have been a little obsessed with these two’s union because it is so lovely and unadulterated and just all the things. I’m okay with that though, because I was not the only one who expressed how affected I was by the two of them and their love. We’d all just look on and sigh whenever they interacted. Above all that, I had the most amazing time hanging out with these guys – they are the truest jol to hang with.

Zintle: This girl took such good care of me. It was a few days before we actually sort of hung out but once we did, I couldn’t stop hugging her because she’s so bloody pretty, like a doll, and just kindest kid in class. There are lot of random things I made this tranquil spirit do but we also sat through Dumi’s sex counselling chat together, which kinda bonds you for life. We were inseperable after that – she’s the Vic Falls Yin to my Yang.

Dumi and Phindi: I want to say our charismatic leader but that feels hitlerish. Dumi was more like a big brother/resident sex counsellor/party starter. He is a presence – like a big one. And his particular person – yes, this is what he calls her – Phindi is very outspoken and she stares right into your eyes when she speaks. At first I felt like she was staring into my soul, which made me feel hella anxious, but I remembered she’s with Dumi, which means she’s probably insane. And insane people are the best people, so I got over myself.

TK and Derek. The two lovely big boys. Anybody who knows me, knows that big boys are my fave thing (Ugh, there’s no clean way to put that statement across, sorry). One was beautifully above average tall and the other had a laugh and ass that brought tears to my eyes. They were also quite adventurous. Like we all did a few activities, but these dudes had plans like everyday to some death defying shit. Kudos. I don’t have the balls – literally. They are such cool peoples. But by far the coolest thing about them is that they were with my tent mate, Simi!

Simi: Sim-ee, Sim sim, Now you Simi – my roomie! Simi and I were the only solo ladies and that’s how we ended up in a tent together. It was the beginning of the coolest roomship. Simi, like my dad, was born on the first day of the year. Amd we all gathered around in our campsite during the last supper and watched her welcome the new year and blow out the candles on her birthday. There was champers and there were tears. It was transcendental.

The Danish kids: Lars, Camilla and Simone. Lars and I sat next to each other on the bus, so we clocked in quiet a few hours in each other’s company. What were we doing most of the time? Sleeping. It’s almost like we were competing or something. At some point it felt like it was contagious and eventually our sleep times just started synching. Lars is so polite that he would feel so bad if he fell onto my shoulder by mistake – what a sweetie. Camilla and Simone were travelling with him and they remind me of doves, the way they’re so pretty and soft spoken. Made me think the whole time, are Danish people really quiet or are South Africans just really loud?

Mas and Nthabi: The two ladies with the dreads that went down to the arches of their backs #longdreadsdontcare – I’m being biased about this because I have dreadlocks, duh. Mas takes brilliant instagram-worthy photographs and she was always the first to wake up, and Nthabi is sweet but she was the first to be visibly gatvol when we got to the 1000 metre long queue at the South African border. I dig both of them – for all those reasons –  hugely.

Tim and Tiega: First of all, they sound like a sitcom, what’s not love? Also, they’re close friends and make me think of Portland, USA twenty-somethings… How I Met Your Mother, anyone? (I know its set in NY, don’t be a smartass). I just wanna make a show out of them because they’re so damn cool and wonderful and fun to chill with, godammit!

Harley from Australia: Harley, Harley, Harley… our charming Australian friend. There is so much to say about the upbeat, lone-wolf Mr Straya, especially from an American perspective, I think? 😛 But, what happens on Truck Hercules stays on Truck Hercules. We didn’t let him forget though  – in fact we had a right lekker time with it. It was nice – he was nice.

Ofentse and Thuli: Ofentse runs and Thuli is the queen of taking pictures. Ofentse is one half of the magic duo (the other half being Dumi) who prepared the last supper for us, the biggest gesture of our bond as Team Herc. And I don’t think there’s anybody on the truck who didn’t get a chance to be involved in an impromptu Thuli photoshoot with all her professional Kardashian poses. I think I took like 20 pictures of her at one spot at the Victoria Falls National Park – and it was my pleasure because she is a delight to be around.

Pete and her sister: Pete’s sister was quiet and honestly even when everybody was complaining about the heat or the queues, she also complained but with a smile. How? What a lovely lady. Pete was our resident photographer – she had like a real camera, not just a phone. And she was also more obsessed with mosquito spray than the rest of us. Great gals.

The older dudes: The suppliers of sage advice and unlimited red bulls. These guys were obviously more travelled than us, especially in Africa and they always had something really helpful or really funny to say about the places we were visiting. And I’m not mad about the cold water and energy drinks that they offered us during those smoulderingly hot days either. Hearts.

And last but not least, our drivers and uncles for all intensive purposes, Amious and Munya, four words. THEY. ARE. THE. BEST. I have been truly lucky to have met all of these funions and I appreciate that they exist and that they are all awesome. I love you, guys and thanks for the memories… *sniff sniff*

Overlander Truck Hercules Zimbabwe

Photo cred: Pete 🙂

Yes, I’m here to watch the rugby, dude…

Yes, I’m here to watch the rugby, dude…

Where to even begin with this one, you guys? Let’s do personal micro aggression origin stories shall we? Have you ever made your way over to a pub as a lady person, alone or in a group, and had a male person, maybe more than one, come up to you and interrogate you about your life? Asking you questions like, ‘Are you waiting for your boyfriend?’ or ‘Are you really here to watch the game?’… Those are the more indirect ones. I’ve gotten ‘Do you know what a ruck is?’ and ‘Can you name any other player besides Habana?’. I wish this was a joke.

Firstly… 

how dare you

All the feels, yo. It’s one thing to wonder why I have a draught in front of me and why I’m yelling at the screen and getting super distraught and super excited, or even why I’m wearing these Vintage 1980s Bok earrings. But it’s a whole other thing to walk over to me and fix your mouth to ask me nonsense you wouldn’t ask a bro doing the same thing.

Wow, man… 

go away

*you’re

Sometimes I really think I’m being punished for my own prejudices, tbh. There was a point in my life where I was kinda problematic and it was very unfair. When I was suspicious or felt put off by dudes who weren’t into Sports, or dudes who preferred sports like tennis or driving, or whatevs (I’m a contact sports girl, myself). Like, wtf was that? But you know what I did? I checked myself and stopped myself from feeding into the linear assignment of gender roles. Ugh, I’m being preachy now but this a seriously annoying issue. It’s annoying that my mind has to be a bloody glossary because every time I hit the bar I’m going to get quizzed. Just stop. And you know what – if you’d really like to know – yes, I am quite pleased that rugby and football guys look the way they do. And I’m sooo sorry they don’t have boobs so that you can stay happy forever. And my sporting faves are as skilled as they are gorgeous and I love them for those two reasons equally. The two aren’t exclusive.

As I bid you adieu, I’ll admit that I’d sooner hangout with a boy who says ‘It’s cool that you’re into sports’. I feel he’s more of a human than Mr ‘You know what an offside is?’. FACEPALM. REALLY.  It’s like, so I go ahead and play a moron and give you the answers you seek, then what? You’re super impressed with me? You no longer feel the need to intimidate me because I’m now at least half worthy to dwell in your masculine space for a bit? Please just remove yourself from my space, bruh, and don’t tell me it’s not that deep.

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P.S Here’s a picture of De Allende, because I can!

damian de allende